Last year, around this time, several weeks before Halloween, Michael Myers of Decatur, Indiana, called the city of Decatur and wanted to know what was up with the street light across from his house. See, Michael Myers of Decatur is a creepy figure, he explained. Michael Myers of Decatur needs that street light right now! Especially in October! Come on! It casts a dim, eerie glow across a narrow patch of sidewalk. It’s so perfect! Michael Myers of Decatur likes to stand beneath the lamp.

He likes to just stand there and watch the neighbors.

And never ever wave.

Michael Myers of Decatur doesn’t wave because Michael Myers of the “Halloween” movies doesn’t wave. Michael Myers of Decatur will also not talk to you if you try to talk to him. The original Michael Myers never talks, so Michael M

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