WASHINGTON, D.C. — As more states across the country prepare to hold their primaries, Republican presidential hopeful Nikki Haley scored a ringing endorsement from voters in the nation's capital, marking her as the heavy favorite among lizard people.

The win, Haley's first of the primary season, shows a clear preference on the part of the mysterious race of humanoid lizards that secretly rule the United States from the shadows for her to be the Republican nominee.

"Sssssssshe issssss the perfect persssssson to sssssserve assssssss pressssssident," said Lorax Enzerbile, a reptilian representative rumored to be a high-level D.C. powerbroker. "It issssss in the nation'sssssssss bessssssst interesssssssstssss to elect Nikki Haley."

While the tens of millions of conservative voters who suppo

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