For all the progress AI has made, it’s still impossible to get a machine to scrape the internet for an image of a specific item of clothing, worn in a specific place, at a specific time. Which means I haven’t been able to find an appropriate photo of the Gerard Darel 24h I recently saw so many Parisians carrying, and am instead having to illustrate this article with a pap shot of 2007-era Lindsay Lohan leaving a Los Angeles hair salon. Sure, she’s holding the bag in question, but it’s metallicised leather – not to mention that the swarm of paparazzi encircling the young actress sends a different kind of message: that this is nothing more than another Y2K collectible. A J’adore-Dior-Louis-Vuitton-Mirroir-Saint-Laurent-Tribute-teacup-Chihuahua status trophy.

The women I noticed in Par

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