If there’s one thing New York City desperately needs, it’s an economically illiterate ideologue with a megaphone, a budget, and no brakes. Enter 33-year-old Hollywood nepo baby, failed rapper, and current State Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani , Astoria’s answer to Hugo Chavez , if Chavez had a podcast and a master’s degree in vibes.

Mamdani’s socialist agenda reads like a crowdsourced listicle from a Jacobin comments section: freeze all rents , soak the rich , make the buses free , borrow billions to build “deeply affordable” housing , and seize the means of food distribution .

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