Being on the receiving end of someone else’s perfectionism isn’t pleasant. It can leave us feeling inadequate and disconnected from others and ourselves, and increase our self-doubt. It also isn’t particularly enjoyable to hold ourselves to the impossibly high standards that perfectionism dictates. So why do some of us demand flawlessness and feel unable to settle for anything less? In some cases, narcissism may explain the relentlessly high expectations certain people have of others—and even, sometimes, of themselves.

Clarifying Narcissism

Narcissism is a frequently used (and misused) term in contemporary culture, so it’s worth a clear definition. As famed narcissism researcher and clinician Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains , narcissism is “an interpersonally maladaptive personality styl

See Full Page