Excitement for tonight's presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden has already reached a fever pitch, and The Babylon Bee is here to cover it all — and tell you what will happen.

Years of battle-hardened journalistic expertise and election coverage have yielded the following list of totally accurate predictions for tonight's debate to give you a heads-up of things to watch for:

Biden will go the full 90 minutes without blinking: Meaning he'll be completely dialed in and not under the influence of any chemical substances whatsoever.

Trump will make up 13 new nicknames for Biden throughout the evening: Biden will respond by reciting the 13 new indictments for Trump that his team has made up in the last week.

Biden will utter the phrase "convicted felon" at least 384 time

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