The U.S. government is shut down, but Kristi Noem is on a taxpayer-funded shopping spree. The former South Dakota governor, who impressed Trump with her stupefying cruelty by killing a puppy because she hated it, just spent $172 million on two private jets for herself.

The DHS Secretary — currently squatting rent-free in the Coast Guard Commandant's waterfront digs because of "safety concerns" — decided the agency's aging Gulfstream V wasn't sufficiently spacious for her needs. So she bought two G700s, which Gulfstream describes as having "the most spacious cabin in the industry." As reported in The New York Times, the Coast Guard initially requested one $50 million replacement jet. Noem heard "one" and decided to double down, literally.

Here's where it gets delicious: the Coast Guard ju

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