There’s been a lot of talk lately about the so-called male loneliness epidemic – and for good reason. In 2023, the World Health Organization declared loneliness a pressing global health threat, with the U.S. Surgeon General comparing its mortality impact to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

But I’d argue that it isn’t just loneliness that’s harming us — it’s avoidance – the avoidance of vulnerability, meaningful connection, and emotional honesty. In trying to protect themselves from pain, many men are cutting themselves off from the very intimacy and support they deeply desire.

I’ve encountered this pattern far too often with the men I’ve attempted to date over the past few years. Take, for example, the handsome restaurateur who feared commitment like it was a one-star Google review. While dr

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