“I was so smashed drunk. And she’d had enough, so she just starts praying…”

Eli Yoder was born into the quiet world of the Old Order Amish. But behind the peace and tradition, lay hidden abuse, rejection, and a desperate longing to be loved. Eli says, “you’re taught like this is the only way, being Amish, so I believed that, that was true, that the Amish was the only way, and so when I see abuse like that, physical abuse, and even mental abuse, well you start wondering, if we are the special chosen people of God, why does God allow stuff like this to happen?”

His father’s drinking often turned violent. As a young boy, Eli, his mom, and his siblings endured beatings that left more than bruises—he carried the pain deep into his soul. Eli continues, saying “I always wanted to have a relatio

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