Remembering What Hurts: Quieting the Echoes of Wounds

Key points

We don’t simply “get over” a trauma or loss, since experiences are subject to our memories.

We can’t erase our memories, but we can try to manage how much we think about them.

We can learn from memories, modify our responses to present situations, and inhibit our ruminations.

Resilience is a multidimensional construct where multiple factors are assumed to play critical roles.

We don’t “get over” a trauma or loss because we can’t rid ourselves of memories and their effects on our present emotional experiences. However, if memories are not constantly replayed in our minds, they may fade beneath the layers of subsequent memories, unless a retrieval cue prompts their recall. In this sense, the passage of time can provide a resting place for memories that hurt.

Self-triggering