Frankie Acevedo and his wife Melissa Acevedo, and their children Levi and Lily.

Frankie Acevedo's 5-year-old wants to be near him all the time, whether he's in the kitchen, backyard or even in the bathroom.

Acevedo, 38, told his TikTok followers about it in a post about "Velcro kids," which garnered nearly 3 million views and thousands of comments, many from other parents experiencing the same thing. The term stems from "Velcro babies," which therapist Elizabeth Schane describes as infants who prefer constant contact and cry when they are put down.

"My kids sit outside the bathroom and ask me questions," one commenter said.

"My daughter comes from the living room just to sit on the floor in my room. She doesn't say anything she just wants to be in here with me," another wrote.

Acevedo and some other millennial parents wouldn't want it any other way. Acevedo said perhaps it's not the children who are so attached, but the parents. And for him, it's a conscious choice to parent differently than the way he was raised.

"Growing up, it wasn't like that for me," Acevedo told USA TODAY. "We spent most of our time outside or in our rooms, and we weren't really involved with our parents much. Everyone was pretty much doing their own things."

While the term "Velcro parents" isn't as established as other parenting styles − like lawnmower parents, helicopter parents, intensive parents, gentle parents and free-range parents − it is gaining traction on social media. While it can feel good to know you've created a safe space and close bond with your child, experts say it's important for parents to set boundaries and take breaks for themselves, too.

Even parents who love being around their kids all the time can get overwhelmed.

"The overstimulation, it's real," Acevedo said. "It's something that most parents go through because we're tired, we don't get a break. We don't get a chance for ourselves. But the reward is the best possible childhood for our children."

Millennial parents are doing things differently

Parents these days are spending more quality time with their kids, Schane said, and trying to connect with their children instead of "just physically being there."

"I'm seeing parenting today focus more on curiosity, and trying to understand why the children or child is showing up in the way that they are," Schane said. "And being able to really enhance emotional intelligence opposed to stuff it and just create rules and compliance."

For some, the approach to parenting is centered on doing the opposite of what their parents did.

"I beat the odds and I'm raising my family completely differently," Acevedo said of overcoming a dysfunctional upbringing.

Why is my child so attached to me?

Babies learn early on that if they are distressed, their parent will come and soothe them. This establishes a secure attachment and is essential for proper development, said Martha Edwards, director of the Ackerman Institute’s Center for the Developing Child and Family.

But babies also need to learn about boundaries in their first year of life. This happens when babies learn that by crying, they can guarantee attention from their parents. If the parent says, "just a moment" and then does come to their baby in a short period of time, the child begins to understand patience.

When parents don't help their child develop this skill, kids can grow overly dependent. But all kids are different, Edwards said, and some children are innately more shy or dependent. In those cases, it's important for parents to encourage their child to explore situations outside of their comfort zone so they can grow.

In Acevedo's experience, his close bond with his son has done the opposite: "He's the furthest thing from shy."

How parents of 'Velcro kids' can get a moment alone

Parents need to be able to have a moment to themselves. To do that safely and with a child's best interest in mind, parents should teach their child how to tolerate frustration.

Communicating directly and lovingly with your child is key, Edwards said. Tell them calmly that mom or dad will be there soon, but right now they need to use the restroom, or whatever the lone activity is. Let them know that once their parent is done with that task, they will be available to do another activity together. It's a good idea to define what that activity will be, so the child has an expectation of what's coming next.

It's important to recognize that clinginess isn't permanent, Schane said. And parents should communicate with their partner or support system when they need help. Some parents feel like they have to do things all alone, and "it's not true."

"We are humans, and we have needs," Schane said. "And we deserve and are worthy of support and help."

Madeline Mitchell's role covering women and the caregiving economy at USA TODAY is supported by a partnership with Pivotal and Journalism Funding Partners. Funders do not provide editorial input.

Reach Madeline at memitchell@usatoday.com and @maddiemitch_ on X.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Millennials might be raising 'Velcro kids.' What does that mean and is it a bad thing?

Reporting by Madeline Mitchell, USA TODAY / USA TODAY

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