When I’m elected queen, I already have my list of proclamations ready to go.

I’ve been watching “ Sisi: Austrian Empress ,” a series on PBS about the famed ruler, so I’m getting some excellent tips about how to be royal. (Although she got up at 6 a.m. to exercise like a fiend and ate almost nothing. I definitely won’t be getting that royal.)

And the nice thing is that as you get older, you no longer give a rat’s behind what people think about your behavior.

This can really add to your stint as royalty, since royals only occasionally have to obey the public. And they can wear ugly clothes and carry no cash, both of which I already have down to a fine art.

I’m still fine-tuning my list of proclamations upon my accession to the throne, but here’s what I have so far. If I’ve forgotten

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