Beloved actress shares raw grief reflecting on famous mother’s death: ‘Why couldn’t she have lived as long as they have?’

Billie Lourd honored her late mother, Carrie Fisher, with a deeply personal Instagram post Tuesday on what would have been the “Star Wars” icon’s 69th birthday.

“This is the ninth birthday of hers I’ve ‘celebrated’ without her,” Lourd wrote, sharing a black-and-white photo of herself with Fisher and her grandmother, Debbie Reynolds.

“It feels like she has been dead so long that she should be 100 at this point? It feels more okay for a 100 year old person to be dead? But not a 69 year old,” Lourd wrote in the caption. “Every time I meet someone older than her I’m secretly jealous. Why couldn’t she have lived as long as they have?”

Fisher died Dec. 27, 2016, at age 60 after suffering cardiac arrest on a flight from London to Los Angeles. The Los Angeles County coroner later cited sleep