DEAR MISS MANNERS: My ex-husband and I have been divorced for over 20 years. Neither of us has remarried.

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We see each other at family functions and are very cordial and polite with each other, as is his girlfriend, who also attends these events. He has been in a relationship with this female for many years, but they don’t live together.

When our sons had their first babies, my ex wanted the family to refer to his girlfriend as Nonna (“grandmother”). Our sons immediately shut that idea down, stating that their children already have a grandmother, and that they would refer to the girlfriend by her first name. This was out of respect for me, and also to avoid confusing the children.

But recently, when my daughter-in-law and I were having a conversation about my 9-year-old

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