Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

When our child was born, we went from fairly evenly split chores to me doing most of them. I had FMLA and my husband “Josh” didn’t, daycare always called me instead of him, and then it became a habit. It left me miserable and cranky, at home and at work. This past summer, we sat down and talked it out. It wasn’t fun, but we agreed to try to rebalance the work. Josh takes on the planning and action for “his” tasks, and we both take on each others’ in a pinch. It took practice for both of us, but Josh is loving and competent and now everything essential gets done. It’s such a relief. Now, months in, I’m sleeping more. We’re having enthusiastic sex aga

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