One of the most popular New Year's resolutions – alongside "Lose weight" and "Improve relationships" – is "Read more." Most people feel a moral burden to get through as many books as possible in a year. It's drilled into us from a very early age that reading is associated with success in life, and successful people reinforce this idea by bragging about how many books they read. It doesn't matter you read, just read! Read to prevent societal collapse! Read for the sake of Western civilization!

I'm not here to denigrate reading. Of course not. I wouldn't be writing these words if I didn't want people to read them. I happen to think that writing is the most brilliant invention in the history of the world, with books being a close second.

I do, however, want to absolve people of any guilt th

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