SACRAMENTO, CA - U-Haul has named Governor Gavin Newsom its Salesperson of the Year for the third year in a row after a record-setting sales quarter.

"We are astounded by the growth we've seen in California," said U-Haul's Western Regional Director Fennick Buggstein. "Thanks to Gavin Newsom, literally every middle-class family has moved out of the state! It's been impossible to keep up with demand! Also, most of our workers left the state too, which kind of stinks."

In their second-quarter earnings statement, U-Haul revealed their sales on the West Coast have increased over 37,000% as every human with a pulse and marginal desire for a better life has packed up all their worldly belongings and chosen to leave for greener pastures in a giant U-Haul truck.

"We are deeply grateful to Gavin

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