U.S. — Progressive Christians around the nation are sounding the alarm over the new Speaker of the House, warning that he is a Christian politician who actually believes Christian things.

"Believing the Bible without being a highly educated scholar like me is dangerous," warned Kristin Du Mez. "Christian Nationalist nutjobs like this are exactly what we've been warning everyone about. He's a Creationist who believes in Noah's Ark for Pete's sake! He believes gay marriage could destroy America! He has co-sponsored several bills to ban abortion nationwide! Can you imagine? BANNING ABORTION?"

"REEEEEEEEEEE!" She added.

Progressives started thinking something was off about the new Speaker when he prayed on the House floor to the Christian God and then claimed in his acceptance speech that "

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