DEAR MISS MANNERS: Each year, Halloween heralds my own personal horror: the season during which my family harasses me to provide them with a list of items that I would like for Christmas.

I abhor this annual ritual. To me, the value in receiving gifts is the knowledge that the giver took the time and effort to think about what I might really like and select something they thought might please me.

The beauty in gift-giving is in the attention paid to the receiver: looking carefully around their home to see if there is an item of comfort they might be missing; listening to their conversations for tidbits about their interests and hobbies; noticing the slight look of pleasure in their eyes when they see an artwork in a gallery window and deciding to make that pleasure permanent.

I have tri

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