Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Submit questions here. (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Prudence,

My mother thought it would be a wonderful idea to give my daughter a very valuable family heirloom—and she didn’t listen to my warnings.

My daughter has been struggling with addiction issues for several years. Inevitably, my daughter lapsed and sold the heirloom to buy drugs, which very nearly killed her.

My mother is shocked, angry, and defensive. She insists that she’s been wronged and can’t understand why her decision to ignore my advice to make a gesture put my daughter at risk. In all the drama, she’s refusing to speak to my daughter; insisting that I come for Thanksgiving and Christmas, where my adult child will be unwelcome; demanding apologies; and relentlessly calling fri

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