SAN ANTONIO, TX - Citing a desire to make sure he's around for the next big eschatological event, prophecy expert and pastor John Hagee placed himself into his home's specially installed cryogenic freezer Thursday afternoon, leaving instructions that he's not to be thawed out until just before the beginning of the next expected lunar "blood moon" tetrad in the spring of 2032.

"I can't bear the thought of not getting to experience at least one more season of wild prophetic conjecture," Hagee told reporters moments before kissing his family goodbye and stepping into the icy chamber expected to be his home for the next fifteen years or so. "I promise, when I get out, I'll immediately set to work on a new book interpreting the inspired heavenly signs."

"Though I'll have to catch up on the cu

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