PHOENIX, AZ — After being swept by the Diamondbacks in humiliating fashion, the Los Angeles Dodgers were left wondering if perhaps they ought to have spent more time practicing baseball and less time honoring Satanic nuns dressed in drag.

During the offseason, Dodgers management will be looking at what went wrong in yet another disappointing postseason, and everything will be under the microscope: whether they should have acquired better starting pitching at the trade deadline, why the bats went cold in October, and whether perhaps promoting heretical Satan worship in front of families at Dodger Stadium this year caused the wrath of God to fall upon them.

"Maybe we should have spent more time training our starting pitchers not to give up 4 bombs in an inning and less time honoring Satan,

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