Ray Sullivan's life took a dramatic turn in 2023 when his wife, Mitsue (Miki) Sullivan, was diagnosed with early onset dementia. The couple had recently relocated to Ararat, a regional town in Victoria, seeking a quieter lifestyle. With few friends and limited support networks, the diagnosis left them feeling isolated.

Mr. Sullivan described the impact of the disease on his wife, noting changes in her memory and personality, which sometimes led to aggressive behavior. "It's been hard," he said, with tears in his eyes. "I was confined to home and I didn't have much else to do besides think about my wife's wellbeing."

Mr. Sullivan, a veteran who enlisted in the Royal Australian Air Force at 17, shared how his life changed after being posted to Butterworth Air Force base in Malaysia. This experience inspired him to pursue education and travel. Upon returning to Australia, he studied Japanese at Macquarie University and later taught English in Japan, where he met Miki. Their relationship blossomed, leading to marriage and two children.

For two years, Mr. Sullivan sought a diagnosis for his wife, but medical professionals attributed her symptoms to depression due to her age. It wasn't until a trip to Japan with their son in 2022 that she received a formal diagnosis. "That weighed heavily on my mind," he said, reflecting on the decision to return to Australia.

As Miki's condition worsened, her aggression made it unsafe for them to live together. Because she is under 65, she does not qualify for government-funded aged care services, limiting their options. The only available facility was in Ballarat, an hour away from their home.

In 2022, feeling overwhelmed, Mr. Sullivan attended a suicide prevention workshop led by Lyn Russell, a wellbeing advocate at the Ararat RSL. Since then, she has been a crucial source of support, helping him find temporary daycare for Miki and the aged care facility in Ballarat. Ms. Russell is now pursuing a diploma in dementia care to better assist families like the Sullivans.

"I'm often sending Ray material to read," she said, aiming to provide him with a deeper understanding of Miki's condition. She emphasized the lack of facilities for younger dementia patients, noting that local staff are often untrained to handle aggressive symptoms.

Mr. Sullivan's involvement with the RSL has helped him cope. He has become more active, even taking charge of chess and card games at the RSL and teaching Japanese at the University of the Third Age. He plans to sell poppies for Remembrance Day, expressing gratitude for the support he has received.

"Everyone here at the Ararat RSL has just been outstanding, they've always had my back," he said. "I was alone and cut off, but through the RSL, I met other veterans … we understand each other."