CHINO, CA — Committed to raising his children right, local father Daniel Olorin tucked his children into bed and sat down to read The Hobbit as part of their nightly devotions.

"Okay, kids, it's time to read The Hobbit ," Olorin told his children. "This book is very important because it leads into the most important book ever written," he explained. "Uh, after the Bible, of course . . ."

The children, two boys and a girl, initially complained, requesting an Elephant & Piggie book instead, but Olorin set them straight. "Let's have no more argument," the loving father said. "I have chosen The Hobbit because it is objectively the best and I love you. It is settled."

"But where are the pictures?" they pleaded. "This is boring!"

Olorin raised his voice only slightly. "Silence, you f

See Full Page