DEAR ABBY : My father and I have had a contentious relationship since I was a teenager. Despite being raised in his house, my values are different from his, and he takes it personally. I left home as soon as I was old enough and have lived the way I want since then.

After a couple of years of not seeing each other, my father asked if we could be in more regular contact. We tried that, and it went badly. Every conversation ended in a fight. When I told him we needed a family counselor to help us find common ground, he absolutely refused. Now he’s telling our relatives that I cut off contact with him and am keeping him from my kids. This isn’t true. I wanted us to work with a mediator to find a healthier way of talking with each other. I am no longer sure it is realistic. ×

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