LOS ANGELES, CA — In an unprecedented move intended to protect one of the league's most valuable commodities, the NBA announced that it would allow LeBron James to play inside a giant hamster ball so other players can't touch him.

Sources indicated that concerns had risen regarding James's safety after experts noticed an increase in incidents of him being violently knocked to the ground by the mere nearby presence of other players, leading to league officials deciding that extra protection was needed.

"Putting LeBron in a protective bubble is in the league's best interest," said NBA Commissioner Adam Silver. "We've all seen him go tumbling to the floor multiple times every game, and at his age, that's dangerous. LeBron is a critical part of the NBA's revenue and marketability, so if he w

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