DEAR ERIC: We love our daughter-in-law (Beverly) and so does our son. Unfortunately, her parents have some serious health problems. When she and our son come for dinner, my very caring and well-meaning wife often asks how the parents are doing. I cringe inwardly because I know the news will not be good and it seems to make our DIL sad. (“Well, my dad just got a new feeding tube.”) I care about these people just as much as my wife does, but I feel it would be more sensitive to wait for Beverly to open that conversation. What do you think?

– Really Trying

DEAR TRYING: The only way to know for sure is to ask Beverly. This can start with the question, “how are you doing?” Sometimes, people in care-giving positions really appreciate an outlet, or a chance to check in with themselves. And, at

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