DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend and I were watching a popular TV series together. The show is based on high schoolers who struggle with substance use disorder, mental health, anger management, sexual exploitation and more.
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We both were making comments regarding our shock throughout the episodes, but at some point, my friend looked over to me and said he feels sorry for my future children.
I was wounded. That is such a strong statement.
I tried to unpack with him what he had said, but I didn’t get far. He shared that he thought my expectations were too aggressive and that no kid will be able to thrive around me.
I think of parenting as a balance between structure and vulnerability, and I’ve always hoped I will be an honest and understanding mom. Neither of us has children, by

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