Hi, and welcome to the Trash Report! I'm Elinor Jones. This is going to be a lot of commentary on a LOT of nonsense, and thanks to Ralph Nader, I can tell you to buckle up, and you'll be able to (albeit metaphorically with this column, although you could also do so literally while driving in a car. Imagine if we didn't get seatbelts in the '70s and somebody tried to get them off the ground now? It would straight up not happen.) Let's go!

Many of us libbed out so hard this past week with the New York City mayoral victory of Democratic Socialist Zohran Mamdani, as well as huge wins for statewide races in Virginia and New Jersey. It's so exciting!! Turns out having a plan for things to suck shit less is a winning position. Who'd have thought, besides literally every young person? Even Democr

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