MISS MANNERS by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a divorced woman with no nearby family, so I am often invited to the homes of various close friends on holidays. Last year, I was invited to a Thanksgiving with about 30 people.

Upon receiving the invite, I offered to bring a couple of homemade pies. The hosts replied that they would instead like me to bring SIX bottles of wine, plus several containers of ice cream. I’m not the kind of person who brings cheap wine, so my contribution cost me about $150.

Upon arrival, I noticed that other folks brought more typical contributions, like a side dish, bakery items, etc.

Is there a way to respond to such a request, which I consider excessive and inappropriate, if it happens again? By the way, the

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