MOSCOW - President Vladimir Putin has ordered the total withdrawal of his military from Ukrainian territory after Hollywood celebrities threatened to sing another version of John Lennon's Imagine .

"This time it will be in Russian," said comedian Will Ferrell. "And we will give no quarter!"

To show Putin they were not bluffing, a slate of medium to high-profile celebrities has already signed on to awkwardly sing the song. Many are returning from the original cringe-worthy production that was released during the early stages of the Coronavirus pandemic, but they will be joined by new annoying celebrities such as Jennifer Aniston and Neil Young.

Putin was quick to throw up his hands in disgust. "No, we will have none of that!" he said in a video message to the UN. "Have you no souls?"

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