Dear Eric: I am in my late 30s. I live halfway across the country from my parents, and don’t have the best relationship with them. I also have a brother four years younger than me who I have been estranged from for 20 years.

My brother doesn’t live with my parents, but he lives in the same city my parents do. If I visit, my parents will tell him and have him come over. I have no intentions of reconciling with him, as he did some horrible things to me 20 years ago which I can never forgive him for.

With my parents, things don’t get through unless I take drastic measures. How do I go about conveying my desires not to see him? My plan would be to tell them they have to tell him he can’t come to their house while I’m there, and if they don’t respect my wishes, I simply won’t see them. And th

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