ORANGE, CA - Patrons at Winthrop's Cafe in Orange found themselves victims of a random attack on Tuesday that will change their lives forever. The cafe-goers were enjoying their soups and salads when 35-year-old senior pastor of Everlife Community Church, Marty Muggins barged onto the premises armed with a Super Soaker and opened fire on the crowded cafe.

"I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and of the Holy Spirit!!!" he was reported to have shouted along with other incoherent religious exclamations as he totally immersed his victims.

By the time police arrived on the scene, Muggins had performed coercive baptism on all forty-seven of the patrons including elderly cafe owner Alton Winthrop. Forty-one lives were saved and involuntarily welcomed into the Kingdom of God after

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