We See My Mother-in-Law So Much More Than My Own Parents. It Feels So Unfair.

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My mother-in-law has been a widow for a long time (since my husband was young). She retired right around the time we had our first child, and while she was always very independent, she’s been a lot more “needy” for lack of a better word and looking for something to fill her time since then. We live across the country from her, but she comes to stay with us whenever she can. These visits last for two-to-five weeks at a time. She’s not doing anything wrong on purpose — she’s kind, she means well, and she clearly loves being involved. But it’s starting to feel like she’s always here.

Meanwhile, my parents don’t get to see us nearly as much. Traveling