A Relationship With Grief

Key points

Grief is a normal part of living with chronic illness.

While we tend to run from grief, there are benefits to moving toward it.

Grief can co-exist with other emotions, like gratitude and joy.

Building a relationship with grief is important.

To live with chronic illness is to live with loss: loss of bodily functions, loss of trust in one’s body, loss of relationships, loss of experiences, loss of a hoped-for future, and loss of the pre-illness self. I want you to read that sentence again and really take it in. To live with chronic illness is to live with loss. Can you acknowledge this, not just at an intellectual level, but at a felt-experience level? Your illness means that loss is your constant companion. “Gee, thanks,” you might be saying. “Good talk.” But hear me out —