DEAR MISS MANNERS: A genteel, proper tea at a traditional hotel requires one to sit demurely at a table too diminutive for any other posture, while awaiting the arrival of the scones, cream and jam. These are followed by the finger sandwiches, then by miniature pastries, whilst sipping from cups of tea before, during and after each course. (Only the simper is missing, but one is generally too busy to bother.)

While sharing such an interlude with a couple of my female friends, we each broke our scones with our fingers. Then, holding a morsel of scone, we applied and spread gobs of cream and jam with spoons and knives, respectively, then lifted them to our lips and enjoyed. The finger sandwiches were also picked up, lifted to the lips and eaten.

Now the tricky part: the miniature pastries,

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