UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, MD - In a dimly lit basement beneath the offices of one of America's oldest churches, senior leaders representing denominations from all over the spectrum of Christian faith, in conjunction with the CIA, are making the final preparations before they send a highly-skilled time-traveling operative back to the year 1983 in an attempt to change the course of Chris Tomlin's life, and the state of modern hymn singing forever.

Tomlin, the contemporary Christian music artist known for taking old hymns, putting them to modern musical stylings and adding sentimental, high-pitched bridges and choruses to them, was born in 1972, and received his first guitar when he was 11, according to a CIA investigation attempting to pinpoint the optimal moment to interfere with Tomlin's life

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