Maya, 29

If I know that Ollie’s on a date, I find it difficult sitting around, not knowing what to do with myself

I knew I liked Ollie immediately. He was the perfect mix of male and female. I asked him what his hobbies are, and he said dressing up as a woman and masturbating furiously. I got the impression he was just looking for sex, but so was I. If either of us had thought the other was looking for something serious, we’d have run a mile.

That Ollie is more experienced in ethical non-monogamy (ENM) made me feel insecure at first. I felt embarrassed about being new at it. I knew that for Ollie it was a non-negotiable, and worried, what if I decide I can’t do it? There’s a part of me that hasn’t fully worked out if I can do this for ever. What if I wake up one day and want him to be m

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