Ididn’t like who I was becoming, but I was too deep in to walk away, says Matt (Picture: Matt Hall)

Sitting alone in a cold, grey gym changing room, I stared at myself in the mirror. My face was gaunt, lips cracked, and I was starving and exhausted.

Worst of all, it was my 30th birthday and I felt pressured to spend it working out. Certainly no birthday cake for me.

My phone lit up with another voice note from my ‘mentor’, Gary*, telling me that winners don’t get tired. Discipline beats emotion. All the usual cliché quotes that he’d shout at me, and not a ‘happy birthday’ in sight.

It was then I realised – if this is what winning looks like, I’d rather lose.

I discovered Gary at my lowest ebb, just 18 months earlier. I was heartbroken, skint, and feeling totally lost in my life.

An

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