TAMPA, FL — Florida Governor Ron DeSantis announced Florida will now be launching all pro-Hamas protestors back to Gaza using a giant circus cannon.

"We can't sit by while our state is overrun with antisemites," Gov. DeSantis told reporters. "For this reason, I have authorized the use of a comically oversized circus cannon, you know the ones, to shoot all pro-Hamas protestors in Florida back over the Gaza. I mean, it's pretty basic governance, if you ask me."

Floridians could see protestors whizzing across the sky as DeSantis's plan took effect earlier this week. Local kids were employed to light the giant fuse, and the project has been funded entirely from ticket sales sold to spectators who flocked from hundreds of miles around to watch the launchings.

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