Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here . (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Pay Dirt,

My husband and I have four daughters, and we have saved over $100,000 for their weddings. When my oldest daughter married 3.5 years ago, we gave her a budget of $20,000 (a generous amount in our community) for the wedding and told her if she spent less we would gift her the difference. Because the groom’s family owns a venue, they were able to get many things heavily discounted and free. They had about a $25,000 wedding for only $12,000 and were able to pocket the leftover $8,000.

Our second daughter will likely be planning a wedding next year. I feel we should give her a bigger budget. It seems unfair that even if she uses the whole budget, she wil

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