DEAR MISS MANNERS: We are a blended family. I invited our adult children to Thanksgiving. They responded by asking if “other people,” i.e. non-family members, might be there. I said possibly. They approached my husband (their father), and emphasized that they want only family members at Thanksgiving.

Is it rude to dictate the guest list when you’re not hosting the party?

GENTLE READER: Didn’t you just say you were a family? And now you are a hostess outraged about guests’ usurping your privileges?

Surely the children of the family may ask if Thanksgiving dinner can be limited to relatives. You and your husband should consider their reasons, which strike Miss Manners as a possible interest in family bonding.

But they should also listen to your reasons -- “But then our widowed neighbor

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