NEW YORK, NY — As part of a change in immigration policy designed to limit the incoming of foreign nationals with chronic health issues, the poem posted on the Statue of Liberty was updated to read "No Fatties."

The famous inscription, which had long been held as a beacon of hope to all who sought a new life and the American dream, now more accurately reflected the current administration's efforts to prevent obese immigrants from arriving to weigh down the nation's healthcare industry.

"It's a modern addition that fits our updated vision," said Secretary of State Marco Rubio. "Our country is already facing health crises across the board with our own citizens. We simply do not have the resources to take on millions of other tubbies who are looking to come to America. We are more than will

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