The other day, I was driving through a four-way intersection. Coincidentally, four cars arrived at the same time. Each of us looked to our right and waved that person on. And we all lurched forward. And we all stopped.

If this had happened in New York, all four drivers would have smashed the accelerator and everyone’s insurance agents would’ve had a very bad day. However, because we are in the Midwest, we are all nice.

“Midwestern Nice” is the term for an affect common in our region that prioritizes politeness and deference to others while avoiding conflict and imposition at any cost. The secret is, Midwestern Nice isn’t really nice at all—it’s a learned performance that can cover up ugly truths.

While the world may think that Midwestern Nice amounts to holding doors for other people an

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