WASHINGTON, D.C. — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi drafted articles of impeachment against newly elected Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni Tuesday to combat what she calls "far-right extremist Mussolini cosplay under the Tuscan sun."

"I can't understand a strong, independent woman who puts family over government," Pelosi said in a brief statement. "The government should be your family. I want everyone to look at me as their mother!"

Rep Thomas Massie, an alleged American Nazi, respectfully disagreed with Pelosi's sentiment, suggesting that she couldn't be the nation's mother with hips that small.

Prime Minister-Designate Giorgia Meloni says she doesn't understand why everyone is comparing her to Mussolini. "I keep seeing reports that the party of Mussolini has finally regained control of

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