Parenting can be difficult. Many parents blame themselves for any problems, but it's really the kids' fault. They're just bad kids and you're stuck with them.

Adding to the frustration are all the parenting books with the unrealistic goals of perfect, well-behaved children. You know that's not going to happen because, once again, your kids are just bad. Totally depraved, really. Also, who wants to read those as they're boring and you'd rather just read Harry Potter again.

So we at The Babylon Bee are here to help by giving you more realistic parenting goals that you can actually achieve. Now you can work towards these and feel good about yourself and better about your bad bad kids.

When your kid takes his shoes off in a random area of a home, car, or business, get him to take them both

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