Grief is not something the British have ever been comfortable with. A 2025 study by the charity Sue Ryder found that 83 per cent of people think the nation is bad at talking about death and grief, that 88 per cent of people feel alone in their grief and that more than one in four feel they can’t talk about their grief.

This is a shame as, for most of us, grief is inescapable. If you love someone, there is a strong chance that, eventually, you will lose them.

In the absence of the “right” words to say to the bereaved, many people opt to say nothing at all, or to pretend nothing has happened. This, however, can often compound what is already one of life’s most painful periods.

Sam Meekings is a novelist, professor of creative writing and specialist researcher. When his younger brother

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