WASHINGTON, DC — President Donald Trump announced this week he will be instituting a mandatory military draft for any American who puts a little yellow and blue Ukrainian flag in their Facebook bio.

"These people, they want to fight," Trump told members of the press Monday. "They put that little flag in their profiles and I know they really want to get out there, die for Ukraine. Really brave and tremendous people. Not me though, I'm not a flag person. No flags in my bio."

Trump made the announcement after a massive influx of white liberal women changed their Facebook profile pics from photos of them at the beach with a few of their besties to an image of the Ukrainian flag.

"These upper-middle class pilates ladies are perfect for the front lines," Trump said. "They want to fight. Look

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