Key points

People who believe that friendship depends on effort, not luck or destiny, are more socially engaged.

It's not the number of friends but the intensity and frequency of contact that are most important.

A friendship thrives when both people make small, mutual adjustments to honor each other’s realities.

Imagine that you show up to a coworker’s birthday dinner or a new book club hoping for the easy flow of connection you once had as a child, and, instead, you leave with polite small talk and a vague feeling of awkwardness.

In school, friendship was a side effect of proximity and repetition: You sat next to someone in math class, traded snacks, and one day realized they were “your person.” In adulthood, the equation gets messier due to a number of variables.

People’s lives a

See Full Page