The holiday season represents work piling up, mounting pressures to shop and decorate and the added weight of having to pretend to be the one who “has it all together” at family gatherings. During Thanksgiving 2022, I found myself in the emergency room—not because of kidney stones as I suspected, but because of stress. Me, a scholar of the strong Black woman trope, had burned out. I had heard from my own research participant about the pressures to “be the perfect employee, perfect parent, perfect woman, perfect wife, the perfect daughter,” and I was there! I had become the strong Black woman I warned audiences about.

Climbing out of burnout meant finding a therapist, gym, new employer, spirituality, nature and fun. Going through that process led to my commitment to helping other Black w

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